High Thoughts: 40 Funny Things to Think About
In this article, we discuss 40 fun things to think about when you’re high. Your thinking isn’t the same on weed; you can use it to stir the imagination and get more creative, or to drift away into abstract scenarios, gaining a completely different perspective on a myriad of topics. Here are some of the best high thoughts to enjoy when you light up.
Being high does something strange to your brain. You might accidentally put a TV control in the fridge, but if you get fixed on an idea, you can explore amazing and oddly satisfying concepts.
There’s a scientific explanation for this phenomenon. Your brain generally enters a “cooldown” period after the firing of a neuron, but when you get buzzed, the neurons don’t get that break.
When you’re having those high thoughts, it seems like the most important thing in the world, until you analyze it the next day once the cannabinoids aren’t active in your bloodstream.
Stoner thoughts are part of the fun of smoking weed. You can get that stream of consciousness anywhere, coming up with outright hilarious conclusions.
So, hit a bowl, and let’s think about the mind-blowing stuff.
What Makes You Think Differently When High? Breaking Down the Stoned Thinking
High thoughts are derived from altered thinking that cannabis causes in the brain. What I said above is the major part of the story: this is where the “theme” of your thought process becomes visible.
You don’t have the same type of feedback loop going on when you’re sober and you can easily change it to a different track.
To get a better idea of how stoners thoughts, let’s look at the 1997 study that analyzed the effects of THC or placebo (double-blind) on 32 volunteers. The authors found that THC stimulated the brain in three main areas: the frontal cortex, the insula, and the cingulate gyrus.
Here’s a basic rundown of the functions controlled by these regions:
- Frontal cortex: executive planning, playing a “superego role,” increasing your motivation even during challenging situations.
- Insular cortex: an array of functions, involved in processes like consciousness, perception, emotion, empathy, and compassion. This area of the brain provides emotional context to physiological events, helping you maintain a sense of “self.”
- Cingulate gyrus: regulates decision-making, language expression and speech, automatic motor functions, and processing of emotions.
When you’re high, these three areas of the brain create a different experience.
For example, weed’s impact on your frontal cortex makes it harder to resist another brownie and makes you feel more creative.
The insular cortex creates a deeper understanding of your feelings and the connection between others and the world.
Finally, the cingulate gyrus makes you feel calmer and improves your ability to regulate emotions when you consume cannabis.
The combination of these three factors spurs an odd yet insightful way of thinking, leading to hilarious conclusions.
40 High Thoughts
Looking for a sparring partner for your brain? Here are 40 high thoughts that will make you challenge your current outlook on the world.
The first documented prescription for medical marijuana comes from Ancient Greece. Does that mean Greek philosophers would fancy a jay or bowl before entering deep discussions about the meaning of life? Perhaps, but even if they didn’t, you can become a pioneer and start a new notion – Sotnericism.
These high thoughts will take you deep down the meanders of your mind.
1. What language would you think in if you were born deaf?
Would you think of sign language? Or the language you were raised in? Is there a point in learning languages when you’re deaf? That’s one hell of a riddle.
2. There are more nipples in the world than people
That’s true. Even if a few people in the world had their nipples cut off, or were born without nipples (is that even possible?), there would still be way more nipples than people. And if that’s the case, shouldn’t we be worried about the “overnipple-ation” of the world?
3. If Professor X can move objects with his mind, why is he still in a wheelchair?
Every time I watch an X-Men movie, I’m like “man, come on, hasn’t that thought crossed your mind even once?” Maybe it’s time Professor X lights a joint and takes his brain on an adventure.
4. If your friends have a lot of lag during a video call, are you talking to them now or to someone living in the past?
Imagine this: you see them saying one thing, but in real-time, they have moved to another subject. You can’t hear that yet, though, because their message comes with a delay. So technically speaking, a lag is a glitch in time from the receiver’s perspective.
5. When you light your lighter, your lighter gets lighter until it’s so light that it won’t light.
Here’s a translation from stoned to sober: when you light your lighter, you’re using its “fuel” to light up a joint. At some point, it runs out of fuel and won’t be able to light anymore. This is a textbook example of how to make simple facts sound poetic.
6. Streetlights in games are using real electricity
Now this one is a groundbreaking high thought. Without electricity, your computer won’t turn on. Consequently, you won’t be able to launch a game, so naturally, watching lights in that game is not an option. But when you have electricity, you enter the game, and you can see the lights on, meaning they’re fueled by real electricity.
7. Is the s or c silent in “scent?”
It’s not a problem for someone specializing in linguistics, but for a stoned brain… Oh boy, can it hurt! I’ll give you a hand — it’s the “c.”
Funny High Thoughts
Everything seems funnier after smoking some good-quality weed. That’s because our “absurdity” threshold gets lower, and the more absurd the trigger, the louder your laugh will be.
So, here are a few high thoughts that sound out of space.
8. If you’re “up” for something, are you also “down” for it?
“Hey bro, are you up for some workout?”
“Okay, and are you down for one?”
“Yeah? Isn’t it the same thing?”
This is when you start to think the Babel Tower was the worst thing that could happen to humans.
9. Can dogs repeat a song in their head?
You know that pesky feeling when a song — not necessarily your favorite one — gets stuck in your head and you can’t get rid of it?
Can dogs experience the same?
And if they don’t like the music you’re playing, will they be angry at you?
Being high and thinking about this may make you reconsider your music taste and discuss the choices with your buddy.
10. Can you daydream at night?
That’s possible if you dream about something before falling asleep. But shouldn’t it be called nightdreaming then?
11. Your knuckles are just finger-knees
Think of it in terms of the finger-toe analogy. You have fingers on your feet, but you don’t call them fingers; you call them toes. By the same token, your palms have knees, but you call them knuckles.
12. Cleaning the vacuum makes you the vacuum cleaner
Does that give you superpowers or deprive you of humanity and turn you into an item that somebody can buy in a home appliances store?
13. What does water taste like?
We’re not talking about flavored water here. Can you describe the flavor of pure water? I think we can all agree that it’s wet. And let’s just leave it here.
14. Things aren’t really on fire, but rather fire is on things
Even when literally you put an item on fire, the fire is on that thing — not the other way round.
15. What if we only know about Japan’s ninjas because they’re so bad at being ninjas?
Every other country in the world could have its ninjas. What if Japanese ninjas are just clumsy and they became famous because everybody lolled at their failures?
16. How many times have you seen the same wild bird?
It’s easy peasy to tell with cats and dogs; even with venison. But how about birds, huh? Can you recall that particular wild bird you’ve seen time and time again?
17. Do bugs know they can walk up walls since they’re born, or do they just accidentally climb them and go, “God dammit, check that superpower!”
Maybe bugs have old-fashioned parents who were brought up in the “don’t do this, don’t touch that” manner, and all of a sudden, they realize they’ve just been fooled all those days, months, or for however long bugs can survive.
And they start bragging about it.
Maybe, just maybe, they’re born with that ability. But this isn’t so obvious for a stoned brain.
18. Can you ever be in the wrong place at the right time?
I’m trying to imagine this scenario, but no matter how hard I’m trying, I’m failing over and over again once my imagination meets the wall of logic.
If you’re in the right time, but in the wrong place, the time is never right because you wish you hadn’t been at that place.
Because it’s wrong!
This translates into the right place and wrong time. If it’s the wrong time to be at the right place, you’re actually in the wrong place and the wrong time.
Sorry, there’s no escape.
19. What’s the taste of each color? Is it green kiwi or cucumber? Is it red strawberry?
Colors don’t have taste, do they?
They might have, but it’s never an objective taste.
Strawberries are red – but so are tomatoes and bell peppers.
Kiwi is green – but so is a cucumber.
Chocolate is brown – but so are coffee beans.
Next time, when someone asks you about the taste of the red color, you can tell them it’s strawberry-tomato-pepper-ish.
20. If tomatoes are a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
Smoothies are made of fruits.
Tomato is a fruit.
Ketchup is not a sauce – it’s a classic example of a smoothie.
They’ve been lying to us the whole time.
21. Where does a thought go when you lose it?
Memory is a complex mechanism. Most of the time, you can articulate your thoughts and keep them in your head. But sometimes, a glitch occurs, and you lose a thought.
Where does the thought escape? Does it lurk somewhere in your brain where you can’t reach it? Or does it leave the head through the ear or nose? Does it accidentally fall out when you articulate other thoughts?
Here we go down the rabbit hole again.
Provocative Stoner Thoughts
Are you up (or down) to explore your mind while you’re high? If you thought the above thoughts were complicated, make no mistake — it’s been a warm-up.
22. “Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real – Niels Bohr
Niels Bohr was one of the trailblazers of quantum physics. He came up with great provocative thoughts that you may want to break down while high.
In essence, every object surrounding you consists of subatomic particles, and they don’t behave like regular objects. They aren’t even in a fixed location at any given time because they’re both a particle and a wave.
Can you consider these particles as “real” or does it change the entire definition? And if they aren’t real, are objects made of them also unreal?
23. There are two possibilities: either we’re the only race in the universe, or we’re not. Both are equally terrifying.” What’s your choice?
If there are other species in the universe, we may not be safe if their nature and willingness to cause harm just for the sake of harming others resembles that of humans.
But if we’re alone here, isn’t it frightening that there is an end to things? That you can never learn more once you hit the ceiling?
24. The Chinese Room
This traditional thought experiment creates the following circumstances: imagine somebody is located in a closed room, with English and Mandarinian Chinese dictionaries and translation rules between one another.
The person asking the question would think the person inside understood Chinese, but is that true? Is the ability to respond the same as understanding the language?
According to John Searle, the author of this thought experiment, originally aimed for debunking the idea of a “strong” artificial intelligence. In other words, he wanted to disprove that an AI could exist that could perform the same intellectual tasks as humans. Would such an AI be effective, or would lack a deeper understanding of those tasks, like the said translator?
25. The Ship of Theseus
The ship of Theseus undermines the concept of humans being the same people throughout their lives.
Let’s say you have an old ship and you replace some of the flawed planks with fresh ones, the ship remains the same.
But if you continue to replace its parts to the point all other planks are changed, is it still the same ship?
You can dive in deeper and translate this paradox into our lives. Given that your cells are constantly being replaced, do you remain the same, if the ship of Theseus doesn’t?
How to Start a Discussion with a High Thought?
Some weed strains are known for their ability to make people more talkative and sociable. If you’re in a good social setting, your high thoughts can spark an epic debate.
Here are a few nice examples.
26. If freedom means being able to do what you want, are animals freer than us?
Humans are superior to animals when it comes to intelligence, right?
Our brains evolved to dominate the other species and the entire world.
So why are we the only species that pay for free stuff, like water, energy, and accommodation?
Do birds give a part of their prey to some bureaucratic vultures so that it can be shared by less resourceful birds?
I think you know the answer.
And yet, we’re the ones bragging about our freedom.
27. What genetic modification could make humans a better species?
Would you choose to be able to draw all your energy from the sun and air?
Or should we have wings like birds to limit CO2 emissions?
That’s a tough one. What’s your choice?
28. If every neuron in humans was precisely simulated in a computer, would the computer gain human consciousness?
Can machines be aware of their emotions and feelings? If that was possible, would an emotional relationship be possible on both sides? Could you actually harm a robot that wasn’t intended to have feelings?
29. Mary’s Room
Mary lives in a room that’s painted black-and-white. She also reads black and white books, and her computer screen only displays images in black and white. That’s how she learns everything that has been discovered about color vision. One day, her computer starts displaying the color red. She sees that color for the first time. Does that mean she learns something new?
30. If you could press a button and receive one million dollars, but one stranger would die, would you press that button? If yes, how many times would you press it?
You want to think of yourself as a moral person. But for many people, as shown in the Incidental Proposition movie, morality can stretch depending on the price.
What is your price? Do you have any? Or would you reject any amount of money because you’d feel responsible for the death of someone who is loved by other people? Would you shoulder the collateral damage?
31. If a sleeping person answers “no” the moment you ask them “are you sleeping,” are they lying or telling the truth?
It can be a defense mechanism if you assume somebody would be ashamed because they fell asleep during a movie. But what if that person is just describing their current state because you’ve woken them up?
32. If you had a transporter that could disassemble your particles in one place and re-assemble them in another: would you technically die each time you used them? Would the “new you” be a clone? Would you lose consciousness?
There was such a mechanism in Star Trek. Technically speaking, disintegration means that you disappear, so a transporter could cause a temporary death and then trigger rebirth. But do you lose consciousness during the process? Would you remember it or feel as if you were born again?
33. What if we originated on another planet? Would that make all human beings aliens? And what about the aliens? Would they be new humans?
More importantly, if both species look like humans, who’s the real human, and who’s the alien?
34. Is a hot dog a sandwich?
A burger is a sandwich.
BLT is a sandwich.
A grilled cheese toast is also a sandwich.
So why doesn’t anyone talk about hot dogs as sandwiches? The sausage lies between two slices of a bun, so hot dogs fall into the “sandwich” definition like a glove.
35. When does a thing become an art?
Art doesn’t seem to have any established standards.
You stop questioning this the moment you notice a guy in an art gallery staring at a black dot on a white background.
So, is there a certain point when a thing turns into art?
Is everything art? Or is nothing an art?
36. Would you rather know all the secrets of the ocean or the secrets of space?
We’re so focused on exploring space that we forget about the mysteries of the ocean. What if the ocean holds secret knowledge about ancient civilizations? What if there’s a missing link to our heritage as humanity somewhere deep in the water?
But then again, wouldn’t you like to reach the end of the universe or answer the evergreen question, “when did the world begin?”
37. What’s your theme music?
Games have themes, movies have themes — so why wouldn’t you have a personal soundtrack?
Is it classical music or rather EDM?
Show me your soundtrack!
38. Would you rather be able to see your future or the future of everyone but your own?
Seeing your future is cool because you can act fast to prevent failures or speed up successes. But what if you accidentally see the moment of your death? Wouldn’t that cover you in cold sweats?
Knowing the future of others sounds like a fun thing, but do you really want to be that spoiler-spitting guy?
39. If a sleep cycle lasts 1.5 hours, and movies last 1.5 hours on average, are the best movies on TV released intentionally at late night hours to disrupt your sleep cycles?
Did you notice that the biggest crap on TV is broadcasted during the early hours, and the majority of quality movies are played late in the evening or at night? Considering the average length of a movie and comparing it to the length of a full sleep cycle, it becomes a good conspiracy to munch on.
40. If cannabis is a weed, and you grow a single plant outdoors, can you be accused of growing weed, or is it just weed growing as a weed?
Let’s assume the weed grows from the seed that has been recklessly thrown away by a clueless stoner.
You let the weed grow; you watch it carefully; and then, as a rightful curator of the plant, you harvest the fruits.
But you weren’t growing it. You even didn’t plant the seeds.
Your honor, I see a challenging case here.
Can High Thoughts Cause You to Have a Bad Cannabis Experience?
Sometimes, if you’re too high and focused on going down the rabbit hole with your stoner thoughts, they can trigger anxiety and paranoia.
Especially when the thought questions your current perception of the world.
That’s called cognitive dissonance and is the number one reason people get anxious when overthinking after a smoke.
THC activates the amygdala, which is responsible for the processing of fear among many other functions — hence the elevated anxiety and paranoid thinking patterns.
Key Takeaways on High Thoughts
Having combed through a list like this is a great way to enjoy your high mind, but they’re best cherished in the right social setting, e.g. when you’re smoking with friends.
Whenever a high thought approaches you, start a conversation with your friends and ask them about their perspective.
Who knows, maybe you’ll be quoted as great thinkers in the future thanks to your debates?
And even if you won’t, it’s still fun to experience — not to mention it gives your brain some exercise and works against the ‘lazy stoner’ stereotype.
What are your best high thoughts? Have you ever thought of something that has blown your mind right off the bat?
Let us know in the comments.